Wedding Dos and Donts

Your wedding should be one of the happiest days of your life — but it can be hard work. Thankfully, whether you're sparing no expense for a lavish affair with 300 of your closest friends or jetting off for a super-intimate and romantic ceremony, you don't have to spiral into a pit of party-planning misery. Here are some tips for your planning so you can also enjoy your big day.

1. Do be a guest at your own wedding.

Be in the moment the day of. Even though you've been anticipating and planning, don't analyze and fixate on if it's going according to plan or on what's coming next. Be present and enjoy the celebration as it comes. That will make the day stick best in your memory and allow you to actually enjoy it and have fun!

2. Don't procrastinate.

Don't ever let this happen to you, you might pay for it somehow. Putting off your wedding planning is a major don't if you have a specific date or place in mind. Make sure you make an organized checklist of things that need to get done and do them accordingly. Enlist friends and family members to help with the big stuff and remember not to sweat the small stuff. If your seating chart isn't perfect, keep in mind that people will probably only sit for dinner.

3. Do be yourself.

If you're not normally the kind of girl who wears lots of makeup and loves to dress up, that doesn't mean you have to be that way on your wedding. Lots of brides overdo it on the makeup, and become almost unrecognizable versions of themselves on their wedding day. Remember that this is your day and you want to be completely comfortable so you're able to enjoy yourself.

4. Do have a backup plan.

It's rare that a wedding goes perfectly as planned. Always have a backup plan: for example, have an indoor location if you're having an outdoor wedding. If you can't have a backup plan for something, like another wedding cake if yours turns out looking awful, then make a promise to yourself before the wedding to take everything in stride. Who cares if your wedding cake looks horrible as long as it tastes good!

5. Don't put yourself into debt by throwing a lavish wedding:

It's not worth it. If you just don't have the budget for it, have a small party you both will love. Times are changing and having a big, lavish wedding is far from the norm. Debt from your wedding is only going to cause marital tension in the long run. In the end, all that matters is that your close friends and family are present and you have a memorable evening.

6. Do book your honeymoon early for the best value and availability.

Some boutique resorts or unique room categories fill up a year in advance. And the cost of airfare increases as your travel date approaches. So, when it comes to booking your honeymoon, the earlier the better. Many resorts offer early booking incentives and most packages don't require final payment until 6 weeks prior to arrival so you'll have plenty of time to pay off your trip too. Not to mention, that it just feels great to mark things off the list.

7. Don't go DIY crazy.

You know that clever bride who sewed her own dress and designed and made her own invitations? Or the one who baked her own three-tiered cake? Everyone's in awe of the girls who can do these things. Good for them—if they did it because they really wanted to and if they managed not to get stressed out. The point of these projects is to use your skills to save money and to put a one-of-a-kind stamp on some aspect of the wedding. But if you are really not the hands-on type, don't drive yourself crazy hot-gluing tulle and folding fiddly favors until 3 a.m. Do only what you can and beg, borrow or rent the rest.

Getting Paid: I'm in trouble and I made the Bride Cry

In my sojourn in the event industry particularly Decorations, so many things take place,some are meant to make you stronger while some will get you miserable and almost cry. The Event industry is one of the most interesting industry to be, don't worry, we might not be celebrities but in our own way, we rock our own world.

This is an experience I had sometimes ago, the Bride came calling as usual. "Hello, my wedding comes up soon and I want you to be the decorator". I was all jumpy not because I have never had a job for weeks but because I am excited at every job I get even if it's the least, you know it's good to derive joy from whatever it is you do. "Draw your estimate" she continues, I did that and sent to her. She got it and we discussed at length, in addition she wanted me to make the cake and do the engagement a day before the main event. I got over excited. It is good to be wary of your client, do not be suspicious but just be at alert when she start calling the shot.

Getting to the venue with all the traditional wedding decor materials, the creative hands of the girls making the puff, the acrobatic side of the men took to the walls, pleating on and on. The cake stand, the cane chair, the rafia mat, the calabash and the gourds went to their places. The groom came late in the evening around 6pm, the excuse was that he was from Lagos and I was like "so?". The engagement finished late, had to leave the venue late too, decoration for the Reception hall which served also as the church was not opened that evening so we could start working for next morning event because the Couple had not settled the balance.

Work had to start next morning, if you are ever going to start your decoration on the event day especially a hall that will serve also as the church please don't go by 7am, go as early as 5am. Start your work and finish before the guest start coming in, it could be embarrassing when you are working and you are being told to hurry up, even if you are the best and even if it was your client's fault, nobody wants to know any longer, they will put the blame on you. "Those guys are too slow, Pastors are supposed to have been seated"

After the event and all, the Bride had called and called before the event started begged and begged and explained how she will pull out her briefcase filled with so much money to pay up her balance but immediately after the event, I became a stranger and this was when I got to know that even the MC, One Man Band, Cameraman also are in my shoes,they have not been paid, I could not complain because I knew I had messed up in the first instance,the only Vendor who got paid completely was the Hall Manager, the rest made the Bride cry because she could not deal with the fact that this was happening. Please try not to act like me, collect your balance before you start work that morning, that is the only time you have to be in control so as to avoid trouble unless you want to have a promissory note as you will not want to watch the Bride cry continuously just because of you.

|I am D'Decorator- 08137574110

"Is this all I get after all I paid!?"

Coming across Clients is my joy,even when we don't get to work together at the end of the day but I have more experiences built up in every conversation we have. It makes you know quite for sure that some do not really care about what goes on with their decoration at their event while the other type of client will follow with details all you are going to be doing with decorations at their event. Colleague, who would you like to work with in the two category?

Natural instinct would make you want to work for the one who does not give you problem but just leave you to do whatever you like, seriously Dear, this will not help either of you. The client will get laughed at and you will not get referrals after the job. The Client who keeps you up and working gets you better, don't think you are at the peak of the Decoration career yet, even the Pros find it difficult at times when there is no reason to avoid errors, a Client who gives you a reason to avoid errors is only helping to bring out the best in you.

Have you not worked with a Client who tells you "Our color is Cream and Wine Red" and that is the last word you heard after negotiations and the moment comes when you have to start your job, you get to the venue, finished decoration and the Bride's friend comes to check what you are doing and you are asked "Where is the charger plate, or is this how you'll leave the table?" And your response is "That is what we bargained" and God help you if the Bride is the type that will come over to see what you are doing herself, she might embarrass you by shouting your head off. "Is this all I get after all I paid!?"

The problem here is: you did not conclude with Her on what you'll be bringing, many Client thinks that once they pay you, you deliver all just like the way Ada Ada had her wedding decorated. What Ada Ada paid is definitely different from what you paid your decorator. Please let her know what she will get and what she will not get with what she is paying and remember you are not decorating only for your Client, many are going to be in attendant, give your best even when you're paid little. Do not have a shabby decoration for her because she didn't pay you well.

|I am D'Decorator- 08137574110

Why Your Best Client May Be Your Last Client

So I recently had the privilege of hiring a cobbler to do a customized sewing design on an album box I wanted to deliver to a client. I explained to him the design I wanted and emphasised the importance of delivering a neat job.

30 seconds into the sewing, I knew in my heart I would never work with this vendor again. His design was sloppy and neatness seemed to be enemies with him. I had planned to give him about 4 other materials to sew for me and decided right that moment that he will not lay his needle on another of my materials. At the end of his 5 minutes work of technical imperfection, he billed me N100. I hurriedly paid without negotiating; couldn't wait to get him out of my sight.

If only he knew that I had budgeted N2000 for all things I wanted to sow. If only he had asked for my opinion on the sloppy job he just delivered. If only he had been more technically proficient in the carriage of his expertise. He looked at my expression less face and perhaps thought he had secured a great client in me. I thanked him for his time and sent him away.

I immediately summoned my colleagues to share with them a customer-service revelation I had stumbled upon. Sometimes when we deliver our jobs to clients that don't seem to say much (apart from paying and thanking us), we should be a little sceptical. It is important to prod customers that "seemed" to be satisfied and ask what they honestly think of your service delivery or product quality. Sometimes we're happy for the $2,000 we just harvested from our best client without being conscious of the fact that "our best client" might not have been completely satisfied. Hence we ultimately loose out from the $20,000 jobs he would eventually bring our way.

Bottom line is for us not just to be quick to charge and collect money from our clients; we should try to be 100% sure that they are satisfied. For only 100% satisfied customers will help to be your loyal and faithful BRAND MARKETERS

Source: www.elophotos.com

I will get back to you 'ASAP': One of the Sharp Practices of Your Clients.

As a Decorator, I have come to understand two things from the 'I will get back to you ASAP. (ASAP was supposed to mean As Soon As Possible) but in Nigeria, it has been substituted to mean these: 'I am just asking, don't worry' , 'I don't have such money' , 'I am just doing a survey' , 'Chei! You are too expensive' or 'Ok Bye' .

In the our event industry, time is event and event is time. To have an event, we must work with time effectively. We can never give you the event you desire if you don't let us work with your time. You have an event on August 20 and you are still making enquiries till August 10. What time will your vendors have to prepare when you have not paid an advance at least to get started.

As a Decorator, I get calls (on a Tuesday) like "Hello, is this OfficialThing Events? There is an event I want you to decorate on thursday, I want the best, the guest is 1500 and I want the chairs and tables covered, let's talk on phone as it is too urgent to set up a meeting". You immediately make a quote and you give your client a call, "Hello, sequel to our last discussion, the bill is 280,000 (assumed) if you are covering chairs and tables and if you are not covering Chairs and Tables, your bill is 70,000" The next thing you get is 'I'll get back to you asap'.

Event Planners, Managers, Vendors are human too, they reason with you when you tell them what you can afford,it's not enough for you to just 'run-off' but you can still get something if you can say what you can pay or your budget and worse of all, be courageous enough to let the vendor know you aren't going to be using his/her services,it gives you more honour. This is my One Kobo for today.

|I am D'Decorator - 08137574110

Nigerian : Yoruba Traditional Wedding

Date

The choice of traditional wedding date could be very dependant on a number of things but most importantly is the availability of key guests and favoured venue. Even taking into account that it might take place abroad, adequate preparation will need to be put into place.

Venue

Choosing the right venue…but do you really know what you are looking for?

It is best, that before you go dashing off to look around every single venue within a hundred miles, here are some top tips to think about when choosing a venue:

Communication is key

Talk to your other half and be prepared to compromise on some things if you both have different ideas, as this could help with disagreements later.

Decide on a budget and stick to it

Working on a budget early on will help shortlist potential venues and give you both a clearer understanding of how big you want the traditional wedding to be, especially if you will also be having a white wedding too.

Guest numbers – invite only or all are invited?

It is good to have a rough idea of numbers so that it will help with choosing a venue, catering amongst other things. If you will also be having a white wedding, will the traditional wedding just be for family and close friends or everyone? It is worth considering!

Decoration

At the point of choosing decorations you should have already chosen your colour scheme/theme for your traditional wedding. Perhaps you might also have an event/wedding planner or decorator that could help you bring your vision to reality.

Traditional Wedding Cake

This is another essential item that should be decided upon by the couple. There are various designs and the cake can also incorporate the traditional feel of the wedding.

Nigerian : Yoruba Traditional Wedding

12/06/2012

7 Comments

 



Source: hausanigerian.blogspot.com

Date

The choice of traditional wedding date could be very dependant on a number of things but most importantly is the availability of key guests and favoured venue. Even taking into account that it might take place abroad, adequate preparation will need to be put into place.

Venue

Choosing the right venue…but do you really know what you are looking for?

It is best, that before you go dashing off to look around every single venue within a hundred miles, here are some top tips to think about when choosing a venue:

Communication is key

Talk to your other half and be prepared to compromise on some things if you both have different ideas, as this could help with disagreements later.

Decide on a budget and stick to it

Working on a budget early on will help shortlist potential venues and give you both a clearer understanding of how big you want the traditional wedding to be, especially if you will also be having a white wedding too.

Guest numbers – invite only or all are invited?

It is good to have a rough idea of numbers so that it will help with choosing a venue, catering amongst other things. If you will also be having a white wedding, will the traditional wedding just be for family and close friends or everyone? It is worth considering!

Decoration

At the point of choosing decorations you should have already chosen your colour scheme/theme for your traditional wedding. Perhaps you might also have an event/wedding planner or decorator that could help you bring your vision to reality.

Traditional Wedding Cake

This is another essential item that should be decided upon by the couple. There are various designs and the cake can also incorporate the traditional feel of the wedding. 



Source: Sugar Weddings

Photography and Videography

Like any event, you want it to be memorable and capturing those special moments through photos and video is advisable. It would be good to make sure you have a cameraman and video man on either side of the groom and bride as you would want to capture the bride waiting behind the scenes and the groom prostrating flat on the floor with his friends, asking for his bride's hands in marriage.

Aso-Ebi

The term 'aso-ebi' directly translated means "relatives clothes" in Yoruba. Aso-Ebi is a Nigerian outfit made from matching fabric to be worn by a group of people to a wedding or party as a uniform. Fabrics come in different types of colours and textures, ranging from Ankara to Lace being two very popular choices.

Whatever you decide, remember that you are picking fabric for others, so it would be mindful to be flexible.

  Ijoko

The 'Alaga Ijoko' (the sitting MC) is for the brides family and the 'Alaga Iduro' (the standing MC) is for the grooms family.

The traditional wedding always starts off with the 'Alaga Ijoko,' who will introduce the brides  and grooms parents, coordinate the letter reading, introduces the groom to the brides family and makes the groom and his friends beg for the brides hand by prostrating flat on the floor, in front of the brides family. The 'Alaga Ijoko' then ushers the bride in.
The 'Alaga Iduro,' then takes over and introduces the bride to the grooms family and takes her for acceptance. She also coordinates the payment of the bride price, which in some cases is usually returned to the groom's family because they are not selling a wife, they are giving a daughter.  

Response to Letter of Proposal

There is always a beautiful proposal letter from the grooms' family, which is usually read out by the youngest member of the brides' family. Then an acceptance letter is given by the brides' family.

Traditional Wedding List
This is a typical Yoruba traditional wedding list for the groom:

Engagement Bible

Engagement Ring

One Big Suitcase

2 Different Pairs of Shoes and Bags

2 Head Gears (of high quality)

1 Traditional Cloth (Aso- Oke)

4 Other Assorted Clothes

1 Big Dish of Salt

42 Tubers of Big Yam

1 Roll of Sugar

1 Big Bag of Salt

If desired:
42 pcs Obi (Kola nut)
42 pcs Orogbo(Bitter kola)
42 pcs Atare (Alligator pepper)
1 Decanter of Pure Honey
1 Big Dish of Aadun(peppered Corn meal
1 Big Dish of Sugar
42 pcs Big Eja Osan (Dry fish)
Owo Isigba(fee to open the gifts on this list (usually packaged)- 500 Naira
Dowry - 5,000 Naira
Owo Omo Ile Okunrin(Money for all male children) - 500 Naira
Owo Omo Ile Obinrin(money for all female children) - 500 Naira
Iyawo Ile - (money for all wives in the family) 500 Naira
Owo Iya Gbo(money for bride's mother's consent) - 1,000 Naira
Owo Baba Gbo (money for bride's father's consent) - 500 Naira
Owo Ijoko Agba (money for all the elders in he family) - 1,000 Naira
Owo Ijoko Iyawo(Money to bring in bride) - 1,000 Naira
Owo Isiju Iyawo(money to unveil the bride) - 1, 000 Naira
Owo Ikanlekun (Entrance fee) - 500 Naira
Owo Phone(money for phone calls) - 500 Naira
Owo Plane (money for travel to groom's family house)- 500 Naira
Reading of Letter - 500 Naira
Owo Alaga Ijoko(money for MC) - 500 Naira
Owo Alaga Ijoko(money for MC) – 500 Naira
4 Cartons of Five Alive
4 Crates of Can Drinks
6 Bottles of Wine
2 Crates of Can Malt
Umbrella

Article is courtesy of African Bridal